Possible causes of grief

The following points describe possible reactions of people who are grieving. They are based on experience gained from supporting people in mourning. These are examples of changes that can occur during the grieving process, but they are not inevitable – because everyone experiences grief in their own way.

• Severe exhaustion:

Not the usual evening tiredness, but a deep feeling of powerlessness. Many feel too exhausted to face everyday life or other people.

• Sleep problems:

Nights become a burden for many—fear of being alone, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, no restful deep sleep phases. Evening visits from friends or family can be helpful.

• Little or no appetite:

Grief changes eating habits—often there is no hunger at all. Mealtimes are a reminder of the deceased, whose place at the table remains empty. Cooking is difficult, eating seems impossible.

• Weight gain:

Some people compensate for grief and loneliness by eating more frequently, especially in response to emotional emptiness (“comfort eating”).

• Physical complaints:

Empty stomach, tightness in the chest, palpitations, lump in the throat, shortness of breath, weak muscles – all of these can occur during the grieving process. Doctors should carefully check whether these symptoms are pathological or part of the grieving process.

• Unable to accept help:

Many people find it difficult to ask others for support—even when they urgently need it.

• Everyday tasks become difficult:

Even simple tasks suddenly seem overwhelming, and motivation and joy are often completely absent. You just function.

• Excessive activity:

Some people throw themselves into tasks and activities to better cope with the pain of grief.

• Sensory illusions:

Noises or movements are perceived as coming from the deceased person—footsteps, a shadow, a door closing. Conversations with the deceased person also occur. These conversations with people who are no longer there can happen consciously or unconsciously.

• Intense searching for and “talking” to the deceased person:

Some consciously look for signs, call out to the person, or talk to them—sometimes aloud—or they make decisions “together” in an inner dialogue with this “inner” person.

• Concentration problems:

Attention slackens, thoughts often wander, and confusion is not uncommon.

• Severe irritability:

Many react more sensitively than usual to noises, words, or everyday demands.

• Disinterest:

Important things—including hobbies or work—suddenly seem unimportant. Interest in one's surroundings can decline significantly.

• Social withdrawal:

Phone calls, meetings, or contact with others are avoided. Some people withdraw completely from their social circle for a period of time.

• Altered perception of time:

Many experience time as extremely slow—days can feel endless.

• Difficulty making decisions:

Even small decisions are difficult. During this phase, no major changes (e.g., moving, changing jobs) should be made. Family members should also be patient and not pressure the person.

• Loss of meaning:

Many feel a deep sense of meaninglessness—their own lives and actions seem meaningless.

Note: These reactions are normal in grief. They show how intensely the loss is felt. Nevertheless, it can be helpful to seek professional support – especially if certain symptoms persist for a long time or become very stressful. At Albatros, we support you in finding a personal way to better cope with your grief.