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Recognizing forced marriage and finding help
Let's talk about a very important topic: forced marriage—what it means, what rights you have here in Germany, and where you can get support.
Forced marriage means that, as an underage girl, you are pressured, threatened, or even hurt in order to marry someone you did not freely choose. This is different from an arranged marriage, which is okay as long as you really agree to it and feel safe to say “no.”
Here in Germany, YOU decide if and when you get married – that's the law. The legal age for marriage is 18. Marriages that took place abroad and where one partner was under 16 are not valid in Germany. If the age is between 16 and 18, such a marriage is usually annulled. Forcing someone into marriage, even by traveling abroad, is a serious crime.
Forced marriage violates the rights of women and girls. These hard-won rights protect you here – whether you are young or an adult. Parents or guardians can make many decisions, but not who you marry—at any age. We know how real family pressure can be. It can come from people you love. You may feel anxious, loyal, or torn. But your safety always comes first. Remember: it's YOUR life—and you have the right to choose freely.
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Recognize warning signs
Trust your instinctsSometimes it is difficult to recognize when a difficult situation is turning into a forced marriage. But there are signs you should look out for, so that you can seek help early on.
Common warning signs include being constantly pressured to say “yes” when you actually want to say “no.” This can happen through words, but also through threats or intimidation. Perhaps relatives or other people in your environment tell you that you have no choice, or they put you under emotional stress by threatening you with shame or loss of love.
Another sign may be if someone controls your cell phone or reads your messages, keeps you from contacting friends and school or work, or takes your money away. Feeling monitored or restricted is never normal.
Sudden and unexpected travel plans can also be a warning sign—especially if you no longer have your passport or other important documents with you. If you are told that you are no longer allowed to go to certain places, or if you are isolated from people you trust, you should be alert.
Sometimes the threats are more subtle: for example, when it is repeatedly emphasized that your family must “save their honor” or that your decision would harm others. These are often attempts to restrict your freedom and force you into marriage.
It is important to know that you have the right to say “no” and that your feelings and wishes matter. No one can force you into marriage—not even your family.
If you find yourself in such a situation or recognize any of these signs, do not hesitate to seek help. The sooner you confide in someone, the better we can support and protect you.
Help
If you feel pressured, call the nationwide hotline:
08000 116 016 – free of charge, anonymous, available around the clock, with interpreters. You can also contact them via chat or email.
Specialized counseling centers such as PAPATYA or SIBEL offer confidential support and help you plan safe next steps.
If you are afraid of being taken abroad, call the police immediately on 110. Seeking help will not get you into trouble.
Even if you are still in the asylum process, you can request interpreters and speak in a safe environment. Everything will remain confidential.
Are you under 18? Then the law protects you in particular. Confide in an adult you trust – for example, a teacher, social worker, psychosocial counselor, or the youth welfare office. You will receive support, even if it is difficult to involve your family.
If you know someone who may be in danger, talk to someone you trust. Do not confront the family yourself.
Make a note of important messages or travel plans and always contact the police on 110 in an emergency.
You have the right to decide for yourself if, when, and whom you marry. These rights apply here in Germany – no matter where you come from. You deserve safety and respect.
If you are unsure what to do or are having difficulty finding the right services, please feel free to contact us. You are not alone.
Come to Albatros. We are here for you—confidentially, safely, and supportively.
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